Friday, September 5, 2014

Not Sould Yet


So this is it.After so many years of knowing myself when I am trying to list 20 things about me,I feel like a stranger.It seems as simple as it could be,but in reality it is very difficult to bullet down one's own nature in his/her own words.It's like a self appraisal which in a way becomes self praise at times.It reminds me of a reference of Mahatma Gandhi in My experiments with truth,where he makes it clear that it is not his autobiography but mere experiments and his own way of experiencing life.
So,through these 20 points I would like to reflect what I am,what I think of myself and what are my ways of experiencing life.


1)I have been a curious kid.And I have my own way of  feeding my curiosity.It is more of exploration and brooding than being inquisitive.I try hard to find the answers myself,in-fact I try to experience and conclude.Though it has been changing in recent times and I try to accommodate views of others as well,but it has just become a notch less and not vanished.  
     
     




2)I am an absent minded soul.I would rather term it as having a short span of concentration.But that short span of concentration is eternity for me.It's the glimpse of my own world where I build my own castles and shatter it down in seconds to make a beach shack of my own.
There are many weird instances in support of this.I have lost multiple no of items from my childhood days from lunch boxes, umbrellas, pencils, bags, sweaters, mufflers to mobile phones, wallets, money and in one instance left the person with whom I was roaming with.
Once I remember leaving my school bag in my class in the excitement of holidays and I got to know it only when my mom asked for the lunch box at home.Imagine the condition of my lunch box after the holidays ;)
Another time I left my cell in my college bus and someone picked it up and took it to his home which was 30 km's away from my place.And I was completely unaware of it until I had to call back home.Similar thing happened when I left my cell phone in my company cab and it went all the way to Coimbatore and I could retrieve it only after three days.



3)As a child I liked to experience nature and I still love to do that.The transferable job of my father proved to be a boon in this regard.From playing in rivers,to visiting national parks to visiting mustard fields and remotely located hamlets,to visiting iron mines and ancient temples,I have done it all.


                           




4)I love music,rather listening to it,humming a few.Music is in my appetite and it is like a stress buster and a companion to me.Though I have thought of learning music from my childhood days I could not do it,but I'm gearing up to do it soon.

                       

5)I love poetry.It's something which gives me solace.I have a few whom I look up to,follow and idealize.Gulzar,Bacchan ,Sahir and Ghalib stand apart for me,And few others like Munawwar Rana,Waseem Barelvi and Faiz are still sinking in me.(PS:One of my dreams is to write a song and a poetic story book)
                   
                             



6)I am a film freak and more on the Bollywood side of the spectra.Though I have watched a lot of Hollywood ones in my college,it has discontinued with time.
I am also a cricket and lawn tennis enthusiast .(SRT,Fedex and Dravid are my gods)

                                 


7)I just love Kishore Da.Though I love others like Rafi and Mukesh as well.But listening to Kishore gives me immense pleasure and bliss.
It is imperative to add that I love the golden era of bollywood,be it songs or movies or heroes.
I even love the 90's and its raunchy music and masala movies.

                                 



8)I don't talk much to my family,I seldom talk to my sister.But they know and even I know that I care for them and love them.It's sad that they have to run an extra mile to reach me but they have never complained.

9)I am very erratic at times.Although I care for other people and their emotions, it becomes difficult sometimes to handle me.The people who know me well,know how to handle me and how to react in those times.

10)I was never an avid reader.Though I love to assemble books and have a glance.But only those books which would glue me at once get completed and others remain on the shelf.In a way it is all because of my concentration span.That's why I love story books and comics as they take less time to complete and are equally fun to read.I seriously lack patience when it comes to books but I want to mend it as soon as possible.

One would be surprised to know that I have not completed The Alchemist,The god of small things,The Midnight Children and many others though I have had these books with me.

                                  


11)My life has centered more around my friends than my family.And I have a close set of friends right from my school days to now. They have tried to bear me for this long and hopefully will continue to do so in the future as well.I would like to add that I have different sets of friends which are mutually exclusive at times,and I have carried them all along and so have they despite of all my communication gap.
       
      
                      
                 

                                                                                          
                                                          
                           
12)I am nocturnal and I am very sleepy,I can sleep anywhere and everywhere and I am always drowsy.I am so drowsy that once I pissed in the bucket adjacent to the commode.No one knows it so don't spread the word please.

                           



13)I am a traveler at heart and like to travel a lot.I have traveled a bit,but I have a lot to cover and I am looking forward to it.
        



14)I am very bad at executing plans though I am not that bad at planning as such.This has solely to do with my callous and impatient nature.Evidently random things and plans have proved good for me so far.
Previously I used to think that one has to have a long term goal.But with time I have realized that I am a person who cannot thrive on long term goals.Short term goals are good for me and suit my nature.I have my bucket list of things which I want to do in near future,it includes few achievable and few bizarre things for which I have to strive hard.

15)I should say I hate responsibilities,I love to be a free bird and try to run away from things which anchor me-an aspect of the nomadic traveler in me may be.But I need to change a bit because in life responsibilities are to be taken as a daily chore and not as responsibilities.
                                 

16)I like to keep memoirs and I am very nostalgic.So much so that I keep bus tickets , coupons, bills, bookmarks, wrappers and other bizarre things with me.I get very sad when I lose them and I lose them on a regular basis.An instance I could remember well is that I kept the key chain of my first year college room till the last year.I lost it many times,I even recovered it two times from the commode in the bathroom(pathetic isn't it?).But it served me well and only broke when I was in the last year,I could feel the tinge of it.But one has to carry on isn't it?.It's a kind of compulsive disorder for me.(PS:Another compulsive disorder I have is that I need to bath If I go for any exam even if it means reaching late for the exam.)
                     
                              
I have this for more than 7 years now.


17)I am very bad at complimenting and I have this habit to mock and put in sarcastic comments.It is good in the beginning but it gets irritating for people at the receiving end,especially girls.But I cannot do much with it.

18)I am an observer and a brood,I love to observe and analyze things.And my analysis and observation may irritate few people and at times can be brought into the ambit of stalking.Here again I cannot do much to change it.

                                      



19)I am highly spiritual and love to explore spirituality and different religions,though I must make it clear that I am not religious and I hate dogmas.I see customs and rituals more through the cultural lens and try not to follow it blindly.At the same time I am highly liberal and unorthodox and extremely neutral at times which makes people realize that I don't have a stand on things.But to be honest I am slowly getting inclined to the "Middle Path" and nothing else.

20)I love kids.I don't know how it all inculcated in me.But from the day I have grown up a bit,I have this knack of getting involved with kids.I can cheer them up,I can play with them,make them laugh,interest them,educate them and I get immense pleasure in doing all this.This is the reason why I love children books.In-fact one of my goals in life is to have my own school for children.


      



Now that I am ending it,I feel I have a lot more to put up,but its better to end it on the trot and let it be.
Driving force:"Never regret a thing which made you smile and never ever stop doing things which you like to do however busy you are in life."