Saturday, August 15, 2015

Nazar

शौक़-ए दीदार अगर है तो नज़र पैदा कर
(If you want to really observe and feel something try to look beyond the veil)

I am a big fan of the famous NDTV news reporter -"Ravish Kumar" and these lines are actually from his blog "Qasba". He constantly focuses on trying to observe people,situations and events beyond the normal lines of a series of events and facts. I came to know about him through a friend of mine and since then I have been a regular follower of his programs and blog. And I constantly try to apply this small but simple thought in everything I do.It works very well at times but most of the times it leads to an unending chain of questions and somewhere you have to stop.

For instance if I consider Ravish Kumar himself.I first met him in Jaipur Literary Festival last year and at the end of the event I saw him signing autographs. Now for that instant I could not believe that a person like him would be signing autographs. This is because when I started following him what I could gaze from all his posts and programs was that he has no intentions to be remembered for his thoughts,actions and programs.And he wants all what he has done to vanish in the garb of history and not to be sighted as a reference.Now all this gave me an impression that he is someone who is realistic but at the same time detached with the lime light. But when I delved deeper I realized that he is also human and there are few things which his profession demands and there are few things which you say and you like to follow but there are anomalies and aberrations when you really do it.I never say that it is wrong to dream about being famous or enjoy your popularity or direct you actions in order to become famous. The only problem I have is that people don't accept or may be they don't know and understand that there must be a logical connection between what they think,what they show and what they do. And here comes the main point that you cannot analyse the actions and thoughts of  a person just by seeing a few facets of his life.For instance for Ravish Kumar I came to a conclusion by just seeing his programs and blogs. But there are a lot of things still in the hindsight, he is a family man, he comes from a small place in Bihar, he is in a profession where his public image matters,I don't know about his behaviour when he is not in front of the cameras. So definitely I can conclude many a things from what I can see and feel, but there are many things which are not known to me and which will be never known to me.
Until recently I was always bogged by this fact that why is there a big gap between what people say and think and what they really do. Its actually a two sided thing, there are reasons on the side of the observer that is me and on the side of the person being observed. While I as an observer would make a judgement based on the facts which are like an iota in the complex being of the person being observed, the person being observed in his own world is also living in this matrix which is full of dilemma and is ever-changing.
I have tried to analyse my actions and thoughts as an individual and  I find the same gap.In fact the void is so big that I get confused at times. But then I have realized that no body in this world is perfect and constant and in your mind you mostly have thoughts which are idealistic and driven by what you deem is correct, but in the real matrix of this world everything comes out as something else.
There are two Jain philosophies which I feel correctly describe this anomaly.
Syatwaad: This philosophy says that whatever you say is a possibility and you add "may be" to every thing you say and every conclusion you make, which means truth is not absolute.
Anekantwaad:This is kind of theory of relativity which says truth is dependent on the perspective or the frame of reference you are in. There can be multiple ways to see the same situation.

I kind of relate to all this.And with my advent in Teach for India,and with things like life maps and learning circle opening new gates of seeing through people, I still tend to find this gap between the actions and thoughts quite evident in everything I do and in everything what others are doing. So while there are idealistic things which were taught in the institute and which remain in the code books and then there are best practices to follow, people giving you suggestions and feedbacks and people talking about education,problems of the communities, ideas, you should do this and not do that;I always have these questions bubbling in my mind. I have doubts about the motives,I have doubts about the answers,I have doubts about having a vision for everything you do,I have doubts about being mechanical and planned in everything one does. I am having doubts about my thoughts and my intentions.May be I am talking abstract but I am always bogged down by the fact that one has to find a purpose in everything one does. May be it is not to be found , may be it was always there,may be living in the moment is the key. Just saying "may be".


We are on the path- evidently we were always there on some path.May be.

PS:In the last few weeks I have found I am kind of turning mechanical which is not me, and thus loosing the fun factor I have. I am trying to unwind and I will start wandering again.
" Not everybody who wanders is lost"-A passing thought which came to my mind

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